Why the World Needs Sluts
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Judge them all you want, but whores are the ones who keep this world turning…and coming.
Have you ever wondered what a cold, desolate place this planet would be if we didn’t have that oh-so-special sub-section of women who spread their legs with no muss or fuss?
In fact, I’d go so far to say that the trampy, vampy girls are what get folks through the day. And by “folks,” I mean anyone who’s gone more than a week without slamming (typically those who are married, in long-term relationships, or genetically-challenged).
Sluts keep men’s blood flowing and their spirits up. And, in turn, they make the world a MUCH happier place.
So it’s time we start showing ‘em a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Standing Up For Sluts
In another one of society’s cruel jokes, easy chicks are forced to walk around with a cloud over their heads like they were on their way to the gas chamber. But why? As long as they play safe, what’s so wrong with having a little (or a lot) of fun?
Sure, they may use sex to compensate for some insecurities, but doesn’t everyone? Isn’t one woman’s blowjob another woman’s chocolate cake?
Much like hookers (who’ve made sluttiness a viable career move), the typical trollop is shamed for giving in to a basic carnal desire.
Sluts are just like you and me…except they’ll sleep with anyone…and not give a fuck.
So before you scoff, here are three reasons why the world needs MORE 3-Finger Girls:
They’re Nature’s (X-Rated) Prozac
Keeping in mind that there’s nothing sadder than a man who isn’t getting any, whores provide a much-needed philanthropic boost to the thousands millions of dudes who would otherwise be spending their days as repressed and angry ogres.
And no one wants to be around that!
They’re Great for the Economy
The sex may be free (and easy to get) but some guys don’t care. They still want to make a good first impression and woo a slut properly with champagne, some bling, and–of course–a hotel room.
How often do you see husbands surprise their wives on a random Saturday night with a bottle of Dom and a room at the W? Exactly.
They Make Ordinary Nights Extraordinary
One of the main reasons single-life partying is so…what’s the word?…gratifying is that it often goes hand-in-hand with 3 A.M. bed-hopping, as guys scope out the scene, looking for the first available drunk chick to go home with–an adventure that, with monogamy, dwindles with time.
So while a “Couples’ Night Out” can have its moments, it usually lacks the ultimate climax that only a one-night-stand can provide. (Just ask any couple who spent 3 hours playing Monopoly with their neighbors while drinking wine coolers).
BOTTOM LINE: You don’t have to agree with slutty behavior, but that doesn’t mean you should vilify it. In a world that is run by the laws of supply and demand, a whore is just responding to a consumer need. Perhaps you should ask yourself if the reason you hate sluts is because, unlike them, no one is buying your merchandise.
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Lightning Linda
