Tinder Trip, Take One
This Bachelor tries out the new way to hook up, while hoping to not get burned by the Tinder Flame
Just when you thought the digital world couldn’t get any less personal, along comes a faster, albeit super-fun way to get laid—or at least try to.
Welcome to the world of Tinder!
Never one to miss out on a sex-related trend, I decided it was time to dive in and see what all the fuss was about.
What is it?
Tinder is a new dating app that, as I understand it, uses basic info from your Facebook profile to try and match you with people based on your geographical location, mutual friends and any common interests.
And that’s it folks!
You just have to install the app on your phone, and from there you’re simply shown a bunch of photos of the chicks (or guys, depending on what floats your boat) in your area. You can decide, with the swipe of a finger (no pun intended), if you like the person (swipe right) or not (swipe left).
If that person happens to “Like” your photo too, Tinder will alert you of the match, which allows you to then start a conversation with your potential conquest.
It’s like speed-dating on steroids, MINUS all the useless chit chat (and the risk of getting all dressed up for nothing).
Ready, Set, Tinder
I had pretty much written off going the online route, as most sites always seemed like a waste of time, for one reason or another. And it always felt like something was missing…that raw energy you can only get with a face-to-face encounter (coupled with a few vodkas).
But since Tinder has earned a reputation, whether intentional or not, for being more about “Wanna slam?” and less about “Wanna grab a coffee?” I figured this would be right up my alley.
For the most part, it is.
Why Tinder is a Bachelor Godsend
- For starters, it’s fucking addictive.
- You can zip through people at lightning speed.
- Simple Profiles: No lengthy descriptions (we’re not here for reading).
- No unsolicited messages: Only hear from people that you’re interested!
- No need to feel like a tool for rejecting, or being rejected: The person won’t even know that you passed on them.
- You can see which Facebook friends you have in common: So you don’t have to worry about hitting on an ex’s friend!
I like to think of it as social networking, with a sexual twist!
The Babes in TinderLand
Gotta say, I was genuinely surprised by how many hotties were cruising this app. Plenty of 3-Finger Girls to go around.
The only slight issue I had was that it skewed a little young for my taste…not good for us MILF-chasers. But that was before I realized I could control the age filter.
Perhaps I was just overly cocky, or I put too much faith in my Profile photo (which I thought was my absolute best). Regardless, the women were not clamoring to get to me, it seemed.
I waited for a connection…
Cue The Desperation
Two hours later, my now slightly-bruised ego was causing me to “Like” girls that I wasn’t into, just for the sake of getting a reply—any reply!
But at last, a match!
Three anxious hours later, I finally got a message. And she was a looker! She was also 28 (nothing wrong with robbing the cradle).
Bad news though: She was also 78km away, and I don’t do long-distance slamming. That’s when I discovered that other setting I needed to adjust: how far I was willing to look for a conquest.
And so the conversation began. From the get-go, I could tell she was looking more for a real connection than just sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but this is where a drink and some candlelight would have come in handy.
Should I have been clearer on my profile’s 1-line blurb that I was just looking for a hookup? I thought it was automatically implied among Tinder users?
To top it off, she was super slow to respond (took an hour to find out her exact location). Maybe Tinder isn’t for guys with blue balls?
Ah well, can’t win ‘em all.
The Verdict (So Far)
While Tinder is a convenient, simple and ultra-fast way to find girls in your area from the comfort of your bed, it still can’t match up to the thrill of closing a deal in person. But I may change my tune (and have A LOT more to say) when this app actually gets me laid.
Have you used Tinder? How has your experience been? Leave a comment below.
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