Jennifer Aniston’s Most Valuable Lesson for Women
It’s only January, but she and the “other Jennifer” have already given girls everywhere the most important takeaway for 2015.
LEGS LEGS LEGS!
Ladies, forget the tit surgeries, the tummy tucks and the crash diets. If you’ve resolved to make yourself more f*ckable this year, it’s time to give your legs some much-needed attention.
Seriously, this one’s a no-brainer.
Not only can legs make or break an outfit’s sex appeal (or F*ckable Quoient, in BachelorUNCUT lingo), they can also give more introverted ladies a commanding presence when walking into any room (especially when said room is filled with drunk, horny men).
Remember, nice legs are to women what big biceps are to men: The one physical attribute that can make up for any other shortcomings on a person’s body.
And lucky for us, it looks like 2015 will see more legs and thighs than a bucket of KFC.
Lusting for Legs
If you happened to catch Jennifer Aniston at last week’s Golden Globe Awards, then you know that all it takes is a high-enough slit to make you the Belle of the (Leggy) Ball.
True, in the hierarchy of female body parts, it’s hard to top the traditional T&A. But don’t underestimate the power of a woman’s body between her ankles and vag.
Legs Are Timeless:
Unlike other body parts that require surgical intervention to, ahem, stay afloat, legs only ask one thing of you: Stay slim…or as close to slim as possible.
Legs Are Sexy:
Every man fantasizes (at least once) about having a pair of legs wrapped around his waist as he’s about to ravage her. So whether they’re involved in a game of footsie under a dinner table, or sliding up and down a dude’s crotch, legs make for great foreplay.
Legs Are Acceptable:
Unlike boobs that are about to spill out of a chick’s blouse, showing a lot of leg isn’t considered as tasteless or desperate. But its ability to titillate (no pun intended) is just as effective as any exposed nipple. Just ask Jennifer Lopez, who continues to keep tongues wagging by making sure her Globes are not the only things on display.
Case in point: Do you even care about her breasts when she’s walkin’ around town in this dress?
Just Cool off on the Calves
The one caveat for women who are looking to give their legs a makeover is to be mindful that not every body part needs definition. There’s a fine line that separates toned and sexy from big and masculine. When it comes to legs, leave the heavy lifting to the men.
Translation: Keep ‘em lean, not muscular, ladies.
If nothing else, just remember: Butts may grow, and tits may sag, but nice legs are forever.
Five Things Every Man Will Need in 2015