Oops, I Married A Racist!

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That awkward moment when you learn something new about your partner…a little too late.

So, you finally found someone who could make you laugh, has a solid career and is great in bed. And you think to yourself, “I hit the jackpot!”

Only problem? Your pot of gold has the stench of racism wafting out of it. Yup, you married a bigot.

Suddenly, your annoying mother-in-law is the least of your worries.

Whether it’s snoring louder than a freight train, or being a total slob around the house, there will always be some surprises (read: character defects) that rear their ugly head once you settle down with someone (and that initial urge to make a good impression dies out). The good news is that most of these are manageable–or at the very least tolerable.

But how do you co-exist with someone who sets mankind back about a gazillion years?

Ok, so no one’s perfect. And relationships (as it’s been told to me) are about learning to embrace each other’s flaws and finding common ground. Still, it’s a bitter pill to swallow when your special someone doesn’t want to share the common ground with any other race or religion!

You’re perfect, except…

The relationship world is littered with stories of couples arguing over social intolerance. Don’t believe me? How bout these gems:

Exhibit A: Couple is unable to conceive, but the wife refuses to adopt a Chinese baby (cause, surprise surprise, she doesn’t like Chinese babies). The husband is devastated.

Exhibit B: Then there’s the twosome who can’t stop arguing cause the husband refuses to buy their alleged “dream house.” Why? Too many Jews in the neighborhood.

Exhibit C: Finally, there’s the husband who refuses to hire Arabs at the new restaurant he and his wife just opened (Side Note: Who wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall in this house if their daughter brings home an Iranian?)


How does bigotry slip through the cracks?

It’s a fair question: How the hell did you get that far into the relationship before figuring out the one you’re betrothed to had a penchant for prejudice?

Granted, ethnic preferences are not usually a hot topic of conversation on a date, but we’re talking about a potentially major character flaw here. Guess it’s not so easy to spot while the two of you are making googly eyes at each other over a candlelit meal.

Case in point: What do the three racists above all have in common? They all seemed like great people–AT FIRST–proving that, unlike a bad case of B.O., some flaws are easier to hide than others.

BUT…is this a deal-breaker?

Now that you’ve found yourself between a rock and a racist, what next?

There are plenty of reasons worth getting a divorce over, but is racial intolerance one of them? As much as people loathe it, you rarely hear of a woman leaving her husband because he hates black people.

But the ramifications are huge! Is this the person you want raising YOUR children? Is this the person you want to share your bed with? Or…is this the person you’re even still attracted to?

On YOUR list of deal-breakers where does this one rank? Share your comment below!

  • jonathan

    Most Iranians are Persians not Arabs.

  • JimmyP

    Was seeing this girl and first time I brought her over we were in bed and while we’re getting naked she says she wants to make sure i’m not hung like a chinese guy. classy!