Nice Car…Wanna F*ck?

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It shouldn’t matter what kind of car a man drives…except that it does.

In men’s endless pursuit of women, one of the biggest taboos that continues to loom over our heads is the same one that we’d like to pretend never existed in the first place: Men, sex appeal—and cars.

Much like penis size, occupation and nationality, the car a man drives is one of those sad-but-true items on most women’s lists that are mentally checked off as they try to assess if he’s worthy of being ridden (or driven, as the case may be).

So even though we’d like to think that we’re above it all, that a car doesn’t make a man, it kinda does. Sorry!

Don’t believe me? Then check out the SCADS of studies out there, all trying to draw conclusions between cars and sex appeal. It’s foolish to think that they’re just there to get us from Point A to Point B (unless Point B involves a hotel room with a bottle of champagne and a tube of lube).

True, you’ll rarely read a dating profile that says “Must drive nice car,” but make no mistake: Women are all about a man’s appearance, from his clothes to his ride.

And no, it isn’t just the stuck-up primadonnas who care about this stuff. We’re living in a material world; it was true in 1985 when Madonna first preached it, and it’s true now.

The Laws of Physical (Automotive) Attraction

“What kind of car does he drive?”

That’s the million-dollar question. Even if a girl is not asking it out loud, she’s at least thinking it. 

Now, some would argue that it’s only the immature 18-year-olds who give a shit about this stuff.

 But if that were the case, most guys would be quite content driving a 10-year-old Miata.

FACE IT: The luxury car business is built on the foundation that driving the right set of wheels can elevate you to the top of the social totem pole.

True car aficionados will point out the wonder that is German engineering, but the reason BMW is the gold standard for dating, courting and slamming, has NOTHING to do with what’s goin’ on under the hood. It’s about the style, class and sophistication that the brand represents…the way a man feels when he’s behind the wheel of one…and how much more attractive he becomes to the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on which team they play for).

Horsepower and steering be damned! All that really counts is how many eyeballs you get at a red light. That’s the reason you spend the equivalent of a  studio apartment rental in gas every month…for that look

And that’s the magic of nice cars: They can instantly make you look cooler, make your cock bigger, and, for the physically-challenged, make you look half decent.

I could spend the 1000 words dissecting all of the different makes and models, but really, there’s only two types of cars when it comes to sex: “Nice,” and “Not-So-Nice” (notwithstanding the occasional “I wouldn’t be caught dead in it”).

Which begs the question: Anyone got a Bentley they can lend me?

Nice car = Man’s Own Insecurity?

There is that ongoing theory that the pursuit of the perfect car has less to do with impressing the ladies and everything to do with guys overcompensating for their own shortcomings.

And there may some truth to that. HOWEVER…

What if your Prince Charming picked you up in this?


 Would it be a deal-breaker? Share your thoughts below:

  • Lightning Linda

    like the saying says the bigger the car the smaller the c***..lolll