Would You Have Sex with Mr. Rogers?

Whether they’re looking to get married, or just get laid, bachelors may need to start ditching their “Nice Guy” routine.

Mr. Rogers means so much to so many people. He’s a childhood icon, a role model and a hero. You might even say he’s the essence of sweetness and light, and the epitome of a good, wholesome man.

If you wanted to take it a step further, you might even say he’s the perfect boyfriend and husband.

So why is it that, deep down, we’re all convinced the guy probably never got laid?

The answer is simple: Because he’s TOO fucking nice, and by the time he changed his jacket and shoes, 99% of his dates were probably out the door (or trying to stay awake).

Being Good is Bad

The irony is not lost on me, that as millions of little girls dream of one day marrying Prince Charming, most of them actually grow up running after the Prince’s evil twin brother. You know, the one who punches holes through walls, lies about going to strip joints and has a DUI on his record.

It’s the cliché that will never die, that nice guys finish last (while the pricks usually finish on girls’ faces). It’s not that women are gluttons for punishment; many of them become jaded by a guy who’s kind 24/7.

So, my dear male readers, with all these mixed signals, how are we supposed to act? A woman’s easy solution might be for us to be a 50-50 mix of good AND bad, which is pure bullshit, since that doesn’t exist.

Instead, the best thing we can do is just be ourselves, since we’re all genetically rough around the edges anyway (unless we have Mr. Rogers’ DNA).

Provided you stay within reason, you may want to start channeling your inner asshole ASAP.
And here’s why:

Rough = Sexy

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned—or worse yet, bored! So while she may find it cute and adorable when a guy is SUPER respectful, polite and oh-so-delicate, she’ll at some point want to have her hair pulled, her ass slapped and her hands tied.

Think about that the next time you open the car door for her.

Rebellious = Manly

You can’t deny a woman’s instinctive ability to want to “tame” her man, but that doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate someone who’s spontaneous, who shocks her, and pushes the limits.

There’s a difference between surprising her with roses and surprising her with a motorcycle ride under the summer stars (the bike she originally told you not to buy). If you don’t know what that difference is, you obviously need help here.

Opinionated = Strong

Imagine a relationship where the woman’s opinion was the only one that mattered. It’d be a one-way road to disaster.

Women want to be challenged, and they sure as fuck love a good debate, so man up and stand your ground—yell if you want to! Nothing like a good screaming match for an even better aphrodisiac!

FYI, this is the same theory that explains why the hottest couples are those who look like they have the messiest scraps.

So, in the end, you’d probably be very happy having Mr. Rogers live in your neighborhood; you just wouldn’t want to sleep with him.