“Would I Chow Down on That?”

It’s the one question every guy asks…just not out loud.

What a shame…that no matter how beautiful, or how intelligent a girl may be, the only thing a guy is thinking about is whether or not she’s worthy of being muff dived. Ah, the power of pussy!

I hadn’t given it much thought, really, until I heard a dude utter this question at a busy bar last Friday night. While looking for the next available bartender with one eye, it was pretty clear he was scoping out the place for his next conquest with the other.

But rather than wait for the obligatory full body shot before making a move, it seemed his only criteria–even from across the crowded place–was how wet she could get, and how soon he could see it for himself. And this should probably come as no surprise since…

At the end of the day, all roads lead to (eating) pussy.

Conversation? What Conversation?

If women think that us guys are disgusting animals now, imagine how they’d feel knowing that their value as sexual beings was simply being determined by how willing guys were to eat them out.

Perhaps, then, the most futile exercise in the dating world is a woman trying to seduce a man she just met with provocative lines or certain postures.

Little does she know, that his brain is too busy computing how she would look (and taste) flat on her back with her legs spread. So her words are pretty much falling on deaf ears…and a hard cock.

Shaved…or NOT shaved?

“She looks like she takes it all off.”

On a similar note, this was the classic line my friend would always say when we’d be out, which essentially meant that the ‘she’ in question was a serious prospect (it also had something to do with his somewhat-flawed belief that there was a correlation between pubic hair and a 3-Finger Girl, but I digress).

Never one to be satisfied with just scratching the surface, I’d be the one contorting my neck, trying to take her all in (face, body, hair, heels, etc.) before giving him my opinion of her. Little did I know, that he had already made up his mind based on his “oral instincts.”

He may be judging girls in politically-incorrect ways, but at least he gets laid…A LOT!

So maybe there was something to do this. It would certainly explain why some girls, no matter how good aesthetically, still wound up at the bottom of the slamming totem pole, while the more “genetically challenged” had guys lined up around the block.

It’s just more proof that looks are not always a sign of sensuality. Rather, it would appear that women who are, ahem, ‘open’ to having someone go down on them, or at least give off that vibe, come off as uninhibited and alluring free spirits (a.k.a. what guys are really after).

Alas, we can safely conclude that the only lips some guys are interested in talking to
are the ones NOT on her face.