Two Trannies Walk Into a Bar…

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It ain’t easy picking up a girl, especially when one of them’s got a dick.

Ah, the things guys will do in the name of love fucking.

There are countless urban legends out there about one-night-stands that go down the “Crying Game” road. You know, the ones where the guy gets a lot more than he bargained for—like say, an extra eight inches?

And then there are those stories that actually happened, like that one fateful night in New York City three years ago when a friend of mine and his buddy got a Labor Day weekend “surprise” they’ll never forget (I sure-as-hell won’t).

Seems they were mingling at a trendy bar on the Lower East Side when two ridiculously hot, taller-than-average chicks from across the room (one blonde, one brunette) sent over a round of shots. In hindsight, that alone should have been the first clue that something was off, even by New York standards.

The four of them spent the rest of the night together, laughing, flirting, drinking. It seemed like a no-brainer that things were going to end up where most out-of-town bachelor outings end up: back at the hotel with chicks.

But just as my friend was taking care of the tab, the brunette leaned in and started kissing his neck, and he swore he could feel a bulge pressing up against his knee.

In his drunken stupor, he found himself studying both girls’ faces and, suddenly, the “she’s” started to look more and more like “he’s.” Out of his mind with shock, he got the hell outta there, but his equally bombed friend actually stayed behind and said he’d catch up with him later…

…which he did…the next morning.

No one knows for sure what happened that evening. The buddy said he and the blonde just spent the rest of the night sobering up and chatting in a nearby diner. But in my mind, he at least got a hand job—and probably liked it.

He wouldn’t be the first, right?

What’s a little cock between friends?

Here in Montreal, it’s a known fact that in certain circles, pre-op transsexual women roam the straight bars and flirt the night away with supposedly unsuspecting men. So it would stand to reason, on pure statistics alone, that a guy will hit on a not-so-womanly woman at least once in his bar-hopping life.

Side Note: It’s amazing  how, with the right amount of vodka and tequila, an adam’s apple can suddenly disappear.

Does a Guy Really Give a Shit?

The million-dollar question, for any dude that’s either been hit on or kissed by a transsexual, is whether, subconsciously, he was in on “her” little secret from the get-go, but plays the ignorant victim card for fear of being ridiculed.

When it comes  to transexuals, there’s only two types of guys: those who are completely turned off by them, and the “other” ones.

These “other” guys believe that a hot chick is still a hot chick, and even though there’s no slamming involved, they’re willing to take it as far as they can, either to help them achieve a secret rush, or fulfill some type of fetish. Or, at the very least, score a free massage.

Bottom line: He may not be getting conned after all. So that whole song and dance of being horrified after learning the truth, or pissed that he was “duped” may very well be a pretense he puts on for his friends because this hot-button issue is still very much taboo–until today!

Are Chicks with Dicks the Final Frontier?

If humans do in fact possess the bisexual gene, and we’ve already come so far in the pursuit of LGBT equality and acceptance, we may very well live to see a world where single women everywhere can wave their dicks proudly (metaphorically speaking of course).

Something to think about the next time you’re making a move on the woman (or man?) of your dreams.

  • Lightning Linda

    AMAZING ARTICLE was smiling right thru..You really tell it like it is. I think if men try to have sex with a women and then realizes that the HE-SHE has 3 legs instead of 2 he will run the other way :)

    • Chocolatita Rubi

      Thats what most girls believe… but actually is so not correct… experience!!!!