The Bisexuals Among Us?

By  |  1 Comment

With the lines between cock and vag more blurred than ever, is bisexuality everyone’s best-kept secret?

When a girl I dated briefly last year told me that she goes out with men but also loves pussy in the bedroom, I immediately thought of my friend “Bill.”

Bill, a veritable “man’s man,” is a 39-year-old investment banker who makes a sweet salary, drives a top-of-the-line German car, and owns a beautiful home in a fancy Montreal suburb with his wife and three children. He has the quintessential perfect life.

Oh, wait, there’s just one other thing: He likes blowing dudes on the side.

If this doesn’t shock you (and, really, it shouldn’t) it’s probably because you, like most people, know a guy like Bill. He’s your friend, relative or co-worker. He’s able to get it hard for a woman, without needing to pop a pill, but every now and then enjoys a little male oral fixation.

Welcome to the world of bisexuality, that other layer of complication on your already-complicated dating life. Forget about wanting someone to pick a side and stay there; what about those people who can swing both ways freely?

Recently, I was quick to label my friend’s wife a possible lesbian when she “cheated” on him with another girl. Like most people, I forgot about the other obvious choice: she’s just bi.

The Ultimate Game-Changer…

Thanks to Olympian diver Tom Daley, who recently acknowledged his current relationship with a guy while making it clear he still fancies the ladies, “bisexual” has become the new buzz word. And he instantly reminded the world that people can (and are) attracted to both sexes.

And while some may say that bisexuality is just another form of self-denial, others contend it’s legitimate. Regardless, bisexuality, like being gay, is something many people want to hide at all costs, either by a hetero marriage or trying a little too hard to prove their manliness.

So you gotta wonder: How many Tom Daley’s (and Bill’s) are there in the world?

The “bisexual implications” are actually huge! If you believe that those who come out publicly against gay lifestyles with homophobic hate speech are actually closeted, same-sex admirers themselves (as some studies suggest), then you should also consider that they may not be gay…all the way.

In other words, their attraction to the opposite sex is probably legit; they just have a side to them that’s also into same-sex play, a side they’d want to keep hidden at all costs.

And it would explain perfectly the rationale for uber-masculine Phil Robertson (from A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” and lady-killer Juan Pablo Galavis (from the current season of ABC’s “The Bachelor”) each making publicly homophobic statements in recent weeks. Robertson called gays “immoral,” while Galavis referred to them as being “perverts.” You call that stupid, I call that a potential smoking gun!

Although opposites in god-only-knows-how-many-ways, few would question their heterosexuality–on the surface. So when they still make it a point to shun the gay community, you have to question their motives.

Are they just looking for ratings, or are they trying to keep their bi-sexual skeletons tucked away in their closets in order to preserve their “brand”?

Think about it: Those who make the most noise are usually the ones with the most to hide. So if my hunch is correct (and truthfully, it’s all speculation at this point), Robertson and Galavis—and even my buddy Bill—could do society a favor by coming clean instead of building more walls of pretense around themselves.

Bisexuals: Friends or foes?

Dating bisexuals might be more of an issue for straight women (as most men wouldn’t give a shit if their date liked women as much as they did) but, all in all, it might make for a more interesting dating pool to swim in if everyone was fair game.

Of course, staying in the closet is fine, until you start becoming a resentful old fuck. If someone has Tom Daley’s phone number, maybe pass it along to Phil Robertson…just in case.

  • Lightning Linda

    Great article and I agree… I feel everybody has had an experience with the same sex or has thought about it..people love to experiment whether they acknowledge it or not and we do hear many stories of marriages breaking up because same sex relationships form or some spouses just except it and live on the wild side or like you said the ones who refuse to come out of the closet end up bring resentful fucks. But I feel many are forced to live in silence because peer pressure or because of their families. I enjoyed this :) keep up the great work!!!!!}