“He Said He’d Cheat On Me…And It Turned Me On.”
When it comes to scoring a hot date, or a hot lay, is honesty really the best policy?
Imagine this: Finding out that some girls would much rather hear the awful truth from a guy’s mouth than the same old contrived, albeit polite, BS. Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming!
For Your Consideration: Last night at Thursday’s, while partaking in some lively Happy Hour debates about the agony and ecstasy of picking up girls, a female friend professed that it’s better for a guy to be upfront with his intentions, however shallow they may be, than to try to make a good, “job-interview-type” first impression (more on this friend a bit later).
In other words, telling a girl that you value her pretty pussy more than her pretty personality can actually take you further in the game of life sex.
Or can it?
Too Many Catch-22s
Whether you’re looking for the future mother of your children, or an hour at the nearest motel, timing is everything. Picking up a chick is more than just what you say, but WHEN you say it.
And that’s why one of the most frustrating double standards for bachelors in heat has always been the disclosing of intentions.
Case in point: If a guy says he’s only looking for short-term, non-manogamous fun—as soon as he meets the girl, mind you—he can come off as an over-eager creep who’s counting his condoms before they’re unwrapped. But if he lets a few dates go by and then pulls the “I Can’t Commit” card, he’s accused of wasting the girl’s time.
For this reason, I was quick to point out last night that from the time a guy introduces himself, to when he asks the girl out for dinner an hour later, there’s no right time to tell her “I’m just a three-date kinda guy.”
But Wait! Can Some Girls Actually Handle the Truth?
Remember my female friend from Thursday’s? This was her reply to me:
“I was super attracted to this guy. Liked him a lot. But he was very upfront with me from the beginning. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious…that he couldn’t commit to one person…and that even if we went out, he’d end up on cheating on me.
I respected him more because of his honesty. He put his cards on the table from the get-go. So we’d just see each other from time to time for innocent fun. It was great!”
And this immediately brought to mind two important questions: Where are all the other girls who think like this and where can guys find them?
The “One-Night” Exception…
Ah, the one-night-stands: That perfect-yet-rare moment when two bodies come together, figuratively speaking, and where both parties just want the same thing: no frills S-E-X.
In this heavenly scenario, it’d be perfectly acceptable to tell the girl that you don’t do dinners, poems or endless texting—or anything with her past the second week for that matter.
There’s just one problem. Finding these girls is not easy as you think. In some cases, it can make searching for the remains of Noah’s Ark look like a backyard Easter egg hunt.
That’s because, no matter how much they try to give off those independent, live-for-the-moment vibes, most girls are just waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep them off their feet and whisk them into a life of physical, emotional and (sometimes) financial security.
You tell a girl that you’re just looking to fuck, and you may as well have leprosy.
Where Do Dudes Go From Here?
I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who think like my aforementioned friend…that it’s better to let a girl know what she’s in for as soon as you meet.
But until more women accept the fact that “most” men are just horn-dogs in disguise, guys will continue to play the role of Mr. Romantic who’s looking for his soul mate. And women’s expectations, like their hearts, will continue to get bruised.
The Joys of (Swiss) Sex