In the cutthroat world of picking up girls, are guys getting cheaper, wiser, or BOTH?
It used to be that a decent pair of tits and some high heels were all it took to get a guy –any guy—to not just offer a girl a drink, but practically hurl cosmos at her—without any of them having to give out their phone numbers at any point. Chivalry at its best (or worst, depending on how you look at it).
This is how so many moocher girls got by in their 20s, leaving their wallets at home and taking advantage of young men’s insatiable need to break the ice in the hopes of getting laid.
But the tide seems to have turned, and now some women are lucky if a guy ponies up a stick of gum.
I made this discovery while having drinks with one of my best platonic gal pals. We were out, just the two of us, at one of those trendy Old Montreal bars that still caters to a clientele that’s not preoccupied with mid-terms.
I had left her alone to scope out some prospects for myself and as it turns out, my friend was quite popular. She was waved at, gawked at, even sent cute little notes from across the room. Only there was one little problem: The waves, gawks and notes weren’t followed by a cocktail. One guy even chatted her up for a half hour and still nothing.
I’ve been hearing more and more of these anecdotes, from single 30-something women, about dudes wanting to put their hearts—not their cash—on the table. And even though I was always of the mindset to offer drinks no matter what, I think I might be turning into one of these “non-payers” myself.
Ladies, if you’re in your 30s, at a bar, and trying to pick up a guy in his 30s, be forewarned: He ain’t paying you shit.
It’s not because you’ve lost your looks or become uninteresting. And no, it’s not the economy. You’re simply the victim of the 10 previous years guys spent pumping money into cocktails with ZERO return on investment.
The 30-something single guy is sporting tons of battle scars from women who left him with a serious case of blue balls after having supplied a steady supply of alcohol and witty banter.
I know the feeling. Just last month I was talking to someone that a mutual friend had introduced me to, and I offered her—and her friend—a round (naturally). After 10 pleasant minutes, they simply took off without saying a word. I didn’t mind, except that a simple “Thanks for the drinks” would have been cool.
And who could forget the time I was asked, flat out: “So…are you going to buy us more shots?”
So, when it comes to the art of picking up, what we have now is a bit of a “chicken or the egg” situation: Girls won’t go out with a guy who doesn’t offer a drink because he’s considered cheap, and guys won’t spend up front for fear of being used.
Time will tell which side will ultimately prevail, but for now, it looks like the days of women getting carte blanche on a man’s wallet are over. They’re going to have to work a little harder if they plan on NOT using their own dough—until the actual first date, that is.
In the meantime, ladies, please remember: Accepting a drink isn’t entrapment. It is possible that we just want to be polite. All we ask is that you show a little appreciation and not abuse the system.
Sometimes, a “Thank You” is worth more than a phone number.
