Dying to be Dan Bilzerian!
Why this man is the envy of every Bachelor—especially me!
It’s the life every red-blooded American male wants and fantasizes about from the time puberty hits: non-stop partying with a harem of women on a private yacht, owning your very own Gulfstream, and tackling daily activities that consist of rifles and jumping into your pool from the roof of your mansion.
And it’s the life that one man is actually living—causing the rest of us to want to hang ourselves.
His name is Dan Bilzerian, a mega-winning poker-superstar-turned-playboy who is quite possibly the most blessed man on the planet right now.
He’s taken poker and pussy to exhilarating new highs, living a life of luxury and decadence that almost seems too much for one man too handle…almost.
Big Guns, Fast Cars and Busty Babes
Having made a killing playing cards (with a reported net worth of $100 million) while moonlighting as a venture capitalist, Dan now divides his time between an avalanche of women, an impressive roster of military-caliber firearms, and racing from one VIP event to the next with some of the greatest luxury cars ever assembled.
That’s the thing about realizing your career goals: You have more time to tackle your bootylicious bucket list.
As his 3 million+ devoted Instagram followers already know, Dan has become an internet sensation by being unapologetic for enjoying all that life has to offer (usually in the form of tits and ass) with a shrewd cockiness that’s acceptable in his case cause…well…have you seen his Instagram pics lately?
Screw Manogamy, I’m Dan Bilzerian
Proving that marriage is pointless when you’re filthy rich and ripped like a Greek God, Dan knows better than to settle down to a life of matrimony confinement.
He fucks without remorse, and puts his cards (no pun intended) on the table from the get-go (Translation: He won’t remember a girl’s name in the morning, and she probably won’t care)…The Holy Grail of single sex!
Consider this his unofficial mantra: Life is short; Play Hard, Slam Harder.
Dan Bilzerian also brings up a not-so-obvious fact: That, under the right circumstances, dudes can be just as catty and envious of each other as women are among themselves.
Case in point: You want to hate Dan with every fiber of your being, but you can’t figure out why.
That’s because you’d give up your house, job, wife (and maybe even a kid or two) to be him for even five seconds.
And it’s ok to despise him. Seriously. It means you’ve got your priorities in all the right places. Just spend less time hating, and more time practicing poker. A personal trainer wouldn’t hurt either.
Hey Dan, does your click have room for one more?
Dan, from one Bachelor to another, please teach me your ways. Show me how I too can spend my days and nights surrounded by beautiful people–and hopefully fire my very first gun.
You may not share my appreciation for a good MILF, but we should be quite compatible in every other bromance category.
I bow down to you, Dan Bilzerian. And—God willing—look forward to sharing a few cases of booze–and a G4–with you.
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