Dear Channing Tatum: Please Keep Drinking!

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When did alcohol become the enemy?

And since when do maturity and cutting back on booze go hand-in-hand?

Dear Channing Tatum:

I don’t care if you’re joking or not; whatever you do, DON’T cut back on something you love, especially when it comes to all things drinking.

Your latest interview, in this month’s GQ, seems to be making headlines, and I’m not sure why exactly (although I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that no one’s ever heard of the term “High-Functioning Alcoholic” before).

Either they think you have a serious problem and don’t know it yet (cause they can’t get past the word “Alcoholic”), or they’ve got a serious hard-on for showcasing yet another Hollywood golden boy who’s trying to right some alleged wrongs.

Ok, so maybe you shouldn’t have given yourself a label related to a serious illness; in any case, the media has managed to make another giant-sized mountain out of the tiniest of mole hills.

By your definition, aren’t we ALL alcoholics?

My only issue in this whole deal is that, while I’m sure you meant to be comical, I couldn’t help but pick up on some subtle regrets—an acknowledgement if you will—that you need to ease up on hitting the sauce, especially now that you’re a family man.

I gotta tell you Channing: Even though I don’t know much about you (as far as celebrities go), this makes my heart liver ache.

Unless I missed something, at no point did you A) Claim to abuse the stuff, B) Have a dependency on it, or C) Turn into a different person because of it. You’re just able to knock a few back without turning into a complete mess (hey, that’s more than I can say for me).

And now I’m forced to read comments like: “Good for you Channing! Getting your life in order!”


Renouncing alcohol seems like the cool thing to do these days, in this messed up society that’s gone bat-shit crazy over political correctness.

But when did it become politically incorrect to enjoy getting drunk?

Marriage and children shouldn’t change you, nor should it change your hobbies, and that includes any hobbies pertaining to Scotch, Tequila, or whatever it is you Hollywood types fancy.

If you’re a high-functioning ANYTHING (including being a little tipsy), then you’re winning half the battle. Until you start pulling a Lindsay or Charlie, I say no harm, no foul.

Eat, drink and be merrily drunk! Truth be told, I’ll take vodka over yoga any day!

And to the rest of you: Let’s ease up on the demonization of hard liquor…it’s getting a little tired, no?

Let’s discuss this over Happy Hour Channing…Whataya say?


A High-Functioning Bachelor.

Channing Tatum-GQ Cover 2014

  • Jessica_Scharr

    My love!

  • Lightning Linda

    forget channing ill take the 5 a 7 with you :) everyone is entitled to get drunk and have fun :) the harder the better go strong or go home..we drink to unwind and when raising the glass dont think of anyone but yourself cheers :)