Confessions of a Cheater, Part One
We may never know the real reasons why people cheat, but it’s always fun to try and figure it out.
Cheating cheating everywhere, and not a happy couple to spare!
Ever wonder why people stray? The answer may not be so surprising after all.
As part of an exclusive and ongoing series, BachelorUNCUT attempts to get into the minds of those who vowed to stay faithful for life, but somehow wound up falling off the wagon–while trying to hide their wedding rings in the process.
Today we meet “John,” a successful businessman in his late 30s who married his high school sweetheart and boasts three children and a beautiful home in an upscale neighborhood.
Q: So first, the obvious question…Why?
A: Everyone says the same thing, but it’s true: It just happened. It was with a co-worker. We got drunk at a Christmas party and she was hitting on me all night. I always thought she was pretty, but never thought of doing anything up until that point.
Then, I snapped. I had already planned to spend the night at a hotel, so I brought her to my room. I’m not blaming alcohol or anything like that. I was running on pure adrenaline.
I saw her two more times after that. The last time we were together, I had told my wife I had an emergency business trip, but instead spent the weekend at a cabin up north, and missed my son’s big tournament on top of that. I knew then that it had to stop.
Q: When did you start to get ‘the wandering eye’?
A: When you have three small kids, it pretty much takes over your whole life. The relationship doesn’t matter as much, I don’t care what anyone says. You’re tired all day, you get cranky. You get stressed about bills, the house, the kids, the job…everything. Forget about the romance!
So then, you see this beautiful girl and your mind starts to go places. You start fantasizing about that person, and wishing you were “young” again, when you could do what you wanted, when you wanted.
Q: Do you still love your wife?
A: Yes. I do. Very much.
Q: Are you still attracted to her?
A: I am. Not in the same way though. Both of us don’t look the same as we did in our 20s. That’s normal. So even though I do find her pretty, I do [lust] over other younger girls.
Q: Did you feel guilty for cheating?
A: I do now, but not in the moment. In the moment, all I can think of is getting laid. It’s like a drug—worse than a drug. You’re on this crazy high and you forget everything. Sometimes you’ll even forget your name. And then when it’s done, you’re like, “What the fuck did I do?” You say it’s never going to happen again. But once you’re out, at a bar or wherever, you get tempted. And you get those same urges.
Q: Do you every try to spice up your marriage?
A: It’s tough. The day-to-day life with the same person can really kill the mood. If my wife is working late, or I’m helping one of my kids with their homework, then all you wanna do is go to sleep by the time you’re in bed. If we’re on a vacation–just the two of us–then it’s a different story. But how often does that happen?
Q: Would you ever tell your wife about your affair?
A: No. It was a fling that didn’t mean anything. Just sex. Even if we don’t bang like we used to, everything about the marriage is solid. I won’t jeopardize all of that because of a few nights with a person I don’t really care about.
Q: Would you be understanding, then, if you found out your wife cheated on YOU?
A: [Laughs] Probably not.
Q: Does that make you a hypocrite?
A: I’m human. I get jealous, sure. But I’ll bet you a million dollars that my wife gets tempted too. A wife or a mom can have those same [temptations] but you just don’t hear about it as much cause guys are the ones who are supposed to be the sex animals.
Q: Do you think your wife has slept with another guy?
A: Don’t wanna know.
