Casually-Exclusive: The New (and Best) Way to Date!

Your man having trouble committing? Give him something that’s easy to commit to.

Really…does he have to love you that often?

It’s the age-old problem every happy bachelor faces: He likes a girl, just not enough to spend all of his days and nights with her.

Cue the suffocation!

We’ve all been there: What starts off as a few good dates, some interesting phone calls, and even a couple of flirtatious texts, almost always dissolves into that awkward “Where is this going?” conversation.

And just when you think, “Here’s a girl who’s fun to hang out with,” along comes the Debbie Downer of romance, giving you, either directly or indirectly, the dreaded ultimatum: Either get serious or get off the love train.

Which is fine, if “getting serious” didn’t mean “being in contact 24/7.”

This is probably how the “He can’t commit” stigma was born; not because the guy wasn’t interested in her, but because he couldn’t give her as much time and attention as she wanted—and he freaked.

All By Myself

As you may recall, my longest relationship to date is seven weeks (the BachelorUNCUT equivalent to three years!). And looking back on that ill-fated romance, it’s clear when things started to go sour: right around the time I felt the need to text her for no reason (i.e. maintaining some sort of contact), so she wouldn’t think something was wrong.

Why? Because she was looking for something MORE…or at least a sign that all of this great chemistry and amazing first few dates we had had was headed towards something more substantial.

Yes ladies, if you think it’s “abnormal” that the guy you’re seeing hasn’t contacted you in 2-3 days, then I’m talking to YOU!

And this is where I’ve always struggled. Because there are days when I just have nothing to say (to anyone for that matter) or would like to spend a weekend watching Entourage re-runs–ALONE.

Somewhere along the way, however, relationships started to get lumped into one of two categories: “Just seeing each other casually” and “We now do everything together.”

Some of the women are rolling their eyes right now, but imagine if their boyfriend told them, “I think I’d like to be alone this weekend,” or, worse yet, didn’t call or text for a full day. Chances are, they’d start to push the panic button.

But what if there was an arrangement where you got the best of both worlds? Well, there is folks!

Drumroll…

It’s called “Casually-Exclusive,” otherwise known as “being in a relationship where you’re exclusive to one another, just not every second of every single day.”

Or, put another way, it’s like having a full-time romance, but on a PART-TIME schedule. 

Not to be confused with the Urban Dictionary’s definition of the term, where you keep your partner’s identity on the down-low, my version of Casually-Exclusive gives you the benefits of a serious, monogamous relationship without the excess “stuff” that can make things complicated (or, at the very least, less enjoyable).

Yes, people will say that no one wants to be alone, and that “when the right one comes along” you’ll want to spend as much time as you can with that person—without even realizing it.

But that’s bullshit!

BachelorUNCUT was born, in part, from the notion that some people, usually dudes, like their independence…the kind of independence that can only be enjoyed whilst unattached.

Why it pays to be Casually-Exclusive:

It’s Perfect for Commitment-Phobes!
Never feel suffocated again.

No More Forced Communications!
Forget the unnecessary texting; You only talk when you actually have something to say (a.k.a. minimizing the chances of getting on each other’s nerves). Should 2-3 days pass before you talk to each other, then so be it.

Enjoy Your Separate Lives
Being Casually-Exclusive means never intruding on each other’s personal space, and/or doing those activities that the other person is not so fond of. Why compromise if you don’t have to?

Get the Benefit of One (Constant) Sex Partner!
Avoid the legwork of having to bounce around from one one-night-stand to the next. Plus, you’ll have peace of mind knowing that you’re both being sexually-responsible.

Worth a Try…

It isn’t written in stone that a relationship has to be an “all or nothing” deal. Sometimes, going the unconventional route (i.e. putting some distance between the two of you) could very well be the key to longevity.

Some might say this is unrealistic, but if you ask me, going “casual” is about as fool-proof as you can get. If absence really does make the heart grow fonder, then think of everything you stand to gain: A lowered risk of cheating, fewer fights…need I go on?

Now, if I could just find someone to get “casual” with and put this theory to the test!

What do you think of the “Casually-Exclusive” theory…doable or dumb?
Share your comments below.